Tolerating Intolerance

I am straight. I am Buddhist. However, recently, I got involved in a conflict between homosexuality and Christianity. How did it end? I cried because people are intolerant, and I cried because I lost my temper and became intolerant myself.

How do you find the balance between respecting the beliefs of others and standing up against something you know is wrong? Where is the line between a peaceful person and somebody who fights for peace?

"An engineering professor is treating her husband, a loan officer, to dinner for finally giving in to her pleas to shave off the scraggly beard he grew on vacation. His favorite restaurant is a casual place where they both feel comfortable in slacks and cotton/polyester-blend golf shirts. But, as always, she wears the gold and pearl pendant he gave her the day her divorce decree was final. They're laughing over their menus because they know he always ends up diving into a giant plate of ribs but she won't be talked into anything more fattening than shrimp.


Quiz: How many biblical prohibitions are they violating? Well, wives are supposed to be 'submissive' to their husbands (I Peter 3:1). And all women are forbidden to teach men (I Timothy 2:12), wear gold or pearls (I Timothy 2:9) or dress in clothing that 'pertains to a man' (Deuteronomy 22:5). Shellfish and pork are definitely out (Leviticus 11:7, 10) as are usury (Deuteronomy 23:19), shaving (Leviticus 19:27) and clothes of more than one fabric (Leviticus 19:19). And since the Bible rarely recognizes divorce, they're committing adultery, which carries the rather harsh penalty of death by stoning (Deuteronomy 22:22).


So why are they having such a good time? Probably because they wouldn't think of worrying about rules that seem absurd, anachronistic or - at best - unrealistic."

Good story, right? So, why can't the same thinking be applied to biblical prohibitions of homosexuality? Why do we find it so easy to wear gold and pearls but so difficult to accept people who love differently? To me, it seems there are two answers. One must be fear. People fear differences, so their natural response is hate. The second is a lack of free thought. Why haven't Christians taken the time to examine the "rules" put down in the Bible, and see if they match up with Jesus' philosophy? It's not even a difficult chain of logic. What was Jesus for? Loving everybody. What was he against? Hurting people. Do gays love each other? Yes. Do they hurt anybody? No. I cannot believe that this extremely simple piece of critical thinking is so beyond the reach of much of humanity.

I cannot remember Jesus saying a single sentence about "unnatural sexual practices" or anything like that. Why? Because sexual orientation is a minor detail compared to all of the other threads that make up the fabric of a human being! What about if they are loyal, honest, and compassionate? Does it really matter what they do in the privacy of their bedroom?

I hate myself when I lose control. I hate myself when I lose my temper. But I also cannot imagine a world in which I don't try to open people's minds, no matter how futile the task is.